Just wanted to give you a quick shout, and impart some common sense, tough-nosed lessons for some who may misconstrue my blunt, direct, and forthright approach. Here goes:
1). For me, TRUTH comes before everything. Friendships, relationships, family, all must be rooted in TRUTH. Sometimes truth can be harsh. At times truth can be brutal. If it is the TRUTH, however, then to speak it, or type it, knowing that it will offend, scare, anger or empower people is not a bad thing. Sacrificing TRUTH for friendship with your homies, or to create a false sense of peace in your organizations, churches, or groups, is to ensure the downfall of those entities. Far too often, particularly black people, stay silent about things, out of fear that to speak it will "cause drama", or disrupt peace. The worst threat to peace, however, IS silence. In the Holy Qur'an, there is a verse that reads: "And We CAST Truth against Falsehood, until we knocked out its brains". One must think to tell a lie. The lie itself is an intangible thing; The liar, however is real. If peace can only be achieved through a series of lies, then the bearer of Truth will be in conflict with those who wish to keep falsehood as the order of the day.
2). Freedom of speech is often misunderstood. Just because you have the freedom to speak your mind, does not mean you now become free from having that opinion challenged. Most people want, at their core(although they will never admit it), to speak their mind, have everyone AGREE, and they move on. Just remember: If you say you are the greatest this or that, in the world, others have the right to say, "that's bullshit", and challenge your assertion. If you are not strong enough to stand on it without becoming emotional, then you will be destroyed and end up running away from that which challenged you. Weakness and immaturity of speech will only get you slayed.
3). If you have a need to be validated or loved by strangers, and have no solid foundation of self love, you will not make it through life very well. Most people who seek a lot of attention, are really missing something on the inside that they think adoration from others will fulfill. It will not. Maturity involves knowing that you are a whole person, full of self love, and that self love will cause others to love you without you even trying. After all, as Iyanla Vanzant says, "If you don't like being with yourself, how is anyone else going to like being with you???" The "look at me, aren't i pretty and sexy? don"t you like me? Please tell me I'm hot" mentality is so pathetic.
4) OWN YOUR SHIT. If you lie and get caught, OWN IT. If you have made mistakes, OWN THEM. Because refusal to own our faults allows others to use them against us. This is why I wrote a book detailing aspects of the worst part of my life journey. Because I have made peace with it, no one can use it against me once i make peace with my past.
5).When a person will correct you, it does not signal hate, or "negativity". When a person will correct you, it is often for your own improvement. If you do not have the depth of character to handle correction, then you will sleepwalk through life, unable to grow because you cannot even correct your own faults. The Bible speaks to this: "...He whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth much..."So even God is not above correcting us, in ways we may think harshly also, to get us to be better. Don't get all bent out of shape, lying to cover your lie, attacking the corrector, and getting all in your feelings. Toughen up, humble yourself, and look at what was stated.
I hope that someone can draw from these words, as much as I did even in forming them. Take care! Love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!